Merry Christmas

Marry Christmas from VERY snowy Michigan!

I hope that you all are having an amazing Christmas season, celebrating the birth of our Savior with family and friends. Life has been a whirl wind for me over the past month or so and now coming home I feel like it's taking me some time to actually slow down and breath. It really is beautiful here. It really does look like you just stepped into Narnia- it is a winter wonderland.

I'm excited to be able to just stop a bit more and hopefully spend time running away to be solely alone with Jesus. It blows my mind how difficult I make it to find time to be with the Savior of my soul and Redeemer of my falleness. I was listening to this song tonight and it ministered to my spirit so I thought I'd pass it on to you incase you get the chance to listen to it. http://www.imeem.com/people/pQGShyu/music/Hd3DJ66G/brian_and_jenn_johnson_broken_for_you/

Also, I needed to change my little profile name to something that my friends would recognize when I posted a comment on their blog. It was actually on my best friend Carly's blog who is still doing the ministry that we started in Kenya. If you want to check it out you should- a huge part of my heart is still in Kenya and with the street boys and her. Reading her post was refreshing to remember how the God we serve and are in love with is so adventurous. If you get a chance read it: http://cerakmorrellupdate.blogspot.com/

I love you all dearly and am so blessed by getting to call you my brothers and sisters- Man, God is going to do something SWEET and adventurous with our lives if we just keep being in love with Him daily.

Hey just an idea, but what if we all came up with the things that we wanted from God for this year and posted them on here as a proclamation of what He is going to do in this next year. Also, I’d just love to be able to pray for the dreams and desires that God's placed in your hearts. Think about it and let me know =)

HIS-
teebs

Too long...

Hey gang,

I am sorry it has been so long I have made a post.  This is something that I don't want to die out and fade away.  I know we are all so busy with work, school, and the most important babies.  But I want us to keep growing together.  And I know that I am probably the worst out of all of us so lets keep motivating each other. 

I loved the last post of Shannon's where she talked about 'being all in' and charging ahead in faith and 'not looking back.'  This is something where I have been the same way.  I have been on the fence or I get motivated about change and then it fades away.  I am sick of it though.  I want to be 100% in.  And I don't care how weird or crazy it looks to the outside world.  I say that we do it together.  Cause I can't do it alone.  I need the Lord's strength and a community of believers to push me.  We only live once.  And I don't want to just talk about stuff my whole life and then have regret.   I don't know how all of this looks but I say we push forward together.  I want to keep learning about the Holy Spirit & dive into God's Word.  And fully live out my faith.  Fully follow God.

Sometimes I just ramble and feel like I am making no sense but there is something for you guys.

Also I am looking forward to being in close community with everyone and overseas (response to shan) doing mission work.  Whatever we do, I am excited.

Finally, we can all tell each other we love one another because the other weekend I told Terra the 3 magic words...and she didn't say 'thanks' (like other people I know).  Just kidding. 

I love you guys

Two things...

First...

I wasn't raised in a Christian home, which I count as a blessing (although that sounds weird). I have appreciated seeking God because of my curiosity and desire. So the topic of the Holy Spirit was (like Terra) a known figure in the Trinity and I understood that he lived in me, but that was the extent of it. Going to APU I was exposed more to who he was and what his role in my life is, along with the body of Christ. But, still I wonder... Is this all it is? I was driving in traffic yesterday on the 101 freeway thinking about the people who I consider to be great leaders and followers of Christ. I was wondering if their relationship was more and deeper then what I have discovered. M.L.K was one who I pondered. I read his autobiography two years ago and was given a glimpse into his spiritual battle through the civil rights movement. If I were him, with my faith, I don't think that the movement would have been the same. That was my thought process. My conclusion was that yes...there has to be more and how do I get that? What do I need to do? Or what do I need to not do? 

I found Terra's blog very encouraging. I think living in America we looking for a recipe to a successful relationship with Christ. "I want an easy 5 step program that will give me a deeper more meaningful relationship with Christ, in just 30 minutes". Wow how we can place God is a tiny box that fits right in our hand! Terra your decision of all or nothing was inspiring. I feel that I have been on that fence for the last two years. I have been teetering back and forth on whether to sell out or stay comfy right where I am. I have had this on the forefront of my consciousness these last couple weeks with the new change in our lives. A decision needs to be made and I need to make it with all of my being and not look back. 

Secondly...

Today in church the Pastor was showing pictures of missionaries in Africa somewhere and I found myself a little jealous. People often ask me why I want to teach and this is my response, "Well, I don't want to teach", which is then followed with a awkward silence and a stare of pity. I then go on to explain that what I am doing to following God's lead and I am unsure where it is headed (I empathize with Al in this area). My heart beats for missions. I am sure of that. There is nothing else that I want to do. When I picture a career in the future, missions is the only area where I don't imagine being bored. That sounds bad but I can't really find the words to express my love for missions. I completely trust that God will merge teaching and missions, but that could not be what I imagine. In Brad's blog me mentioned his struggle to die to himself and live as 1 not 2. My struggle to let go of what I think I/we should do for God's Kingdom and what He actually has planned could not line up. That is disheartening. But, I need to refocus my lenses. 

I was reflecting on my time spent living in Thailand 2 summers ago and miss it. I miss living day to day with the pursuit of sharing Christ. Life in the U.S in not real and I find it harder to truly live for God in a culture that spats at the mention of Him. I know that the spiritual battle would take a different face if we were to move outside the U.S, but the grass is always greener. 

These were two separate and jumbled thoughts and might be missing sense. It is comforting to know that I have 3 other people who are still missing some pieces of the puzzle and are in the pursuit of God daily. I really appreciate the honesty and rawness that is displayed through these postings. 

Terra we wish that you were here also. Maybe some day soon. Brad and I are excited to have a couple/friends who are real and cross the boundaries of Christ followers. I love you all and appreciate your prayers.

We have an appointment tomorrow morning with the OBGYN. We will let you know how it goes.

Worth It All

I grew up in a very conservative house hold and in a very conservative church. The Holy Spirit was always an ambiguous character that somehow played a part in the Trinity and I guess he lived in me once I "prayed the prayer" but that didn't really mean much to me because I didn't feel anything differently when that happened.

After my Sophomore year at Taylor I got so fed up with how mundane my simple Christian life was. I was so sick of reading about all of these incredible lives that the heroes of my faith lived, while looking at my own life and feeling .... well.... bored by it all. So I took that summer and cry out for truth and clarity. I decided that because my life didn't match up with what i was reading in scripture about TRUE Kingdom living; this equation meant that either I wasn't living right or scripture wasn't true. I had to figure it out and got the point where I said that i was sick of living a faith that didn't match up and i wanted all or nothing- if i didn't find it to be true after seeking for it then i was ready to be done with it.

So that summer i finally gave my faith my all. I spent hours in prayer daily (i have to add my best friend Carly was in on all of this with me too- so we had each other to spur one another on), we would spend extended amounts of time fasting, we'd go out into nature away from anyone else (which isn't hard in N.Michigan) and then separate from each other and just be in the Word crying out for Him to meet us and show us the truth about all of this. I wanted to live the Christian life that involved healing, prophecy, deliverance, speaking in tongues, and all of the miracles that Jesus and the disciples walked in( ICor. 12). I wanted normal Christian living, not the lame walk that i had been journeying through live in. And that was the beginning of everything changing. I had so much to wrestle through and so much to learn but as soon as i truly desired it, and i mean desperately yearned for it (ICor 12:31)- He met me right where i was.

I hate that I live on the other side of the country from you all. I wish that I could just come there and we could all just sit in your living room Brad and Shannon and cry out to God together for his Spirit to fall on us the way that it did at Pentecost (Acts 2:1-4). I wish i could be there to just soak in His presence with you and encourage one another with the Word and testimonies of His goodness. But i have to trust that His Spirit is powerful enough to unite us even when i can not physically be there. I have so much that I want to share with you about my experience with the Holy Spirit and how i had the scales removed from my eyes and how i really fell into an intimate deep loving relationship with Jesus because of it.

Shannon I've especially had a continued burden to pray for you and cry out that God would fill you with such a renewed sense of Joy in Him that it would remove the burden of all of the thoughts that and worries that are holding your heart captive right now.

Ok so i'm ALWAYS wanting to have you guys listen to different songs that are powerful to me in my times of prayer and so i think that you all need to go to imeem.com (if you haven't already) and set up an account NOW. it's free......

after you do that- in the search box type : Rita Springer, and then on the second song listed "Worth it all". I feel like it could touch all of our hearts in different ways right now- but please listen to it and I hope it is encouraging for this season. He pulls us closer to Him and into His ways even when it feels painful or frustraiting to us.

Sorry for this SUPER long post. I love you all (and i like you Alan)- ha.

The missing piece?

          So...as my boys say, "lets keep it solid B!" Yes, yes, yes the Holy Spirit is missing in my life. I wish i could point to scripture and say "this" is the key to living the unbridled power of the Holy Spirit, but i am in a fight to kill myself so the HS will be activated in my life. I don't know if being raised in a  post Holy Spirit church has presented the need for me to unlearn what i know, or if i am simply missing it all together? Day in and day out I am fighting with myself to live  1 life instead of 2. the frustration is vexing, but i guess it is a battle worth waging with myself. I don't know, you guys are speaking right to where i am at in my struggle- but hey it is a blessing to have those near you point u to the Word! It is a struggle to not simply point to Scripture and say "this is what the text says" because I think I have missed much of what it truly says. i am trying to come to a place of balance where i realize what i need to do in order to live an abandoned ministry for the Lord and not a compartamentalized life for God when i desire. But, then i believe there is no balance to truly living for God for it will require the trigger to be pulled on what we know so that God will be able to guide us step by step and moment by moment so we may live according to His will daily. But, that is the rub of where i currently stand - a moment by moment surrendering to God; thought by thought! 

        I'm not sure if this a great starting point for getting to the will of God's plan for me daily, but i hope this simple beginning will allow me to slowly and humbly take each step under God. I guess i am so fed up that i just am done with the race of trying to "do good" for God and simply want to live His will and be satisfied with real results for His Kingdom instead of running through a human-spiritual agenda. Therefore I hope we can all blur the lines of our faith and simply walk step by step and truly rely on God's Spirit to guide us and drive us to Worship!

         Sorry about this funky post - Just fed up with trying to figure it out and wanting to live a day where i can look back and believe i walked with God in relationship and didn't miss the opportunities to wage war for His Kingdom. Oh Yeah,  and do so as a husband :->

Hey Gang

So just wanted to give you guys an update.  I went out to see my suga momma and, well she dumped me.......just kidding she is in LIKE with me (we don't say love yet).  It was a sweet weekend.  The highlight was going out to this place on the Chesapeake Bay.  There is 10 acres of land on the water with some fun stuff to do.  But it was really nice just being able to talk and not worry about doing a million things.  We got to be in the Word and in prayer a ton and just got about our faith.  We were wishing that you 2 could have been there.

A lot of our conversation was on the Holy Spirit and Acts, since we just finished reading through that together.  I would love to have some conversation about it on here.  One thing that we talked a lot about was the baptism of the Holy Spirit and how that was separate than just the baptism of repentance in water (in Acts 19).  Check it out and give some thoughts.

Also I would love to start reading through stuff together.  Terra and I have been doing that right off the bat to stay focused.  And since we just finished Acts we are about to start in a new book.  Are you guys interested?  It would be a good way to have some conversation.  Let me know what you think cause we want to start asap.  

p.s.  that is a hot pic of me kissin Bradley 

Love ya all

I love this picture! Terra we should crop you into it. Love you lots

Thank you

Terra thank you for your willingness to layout it all out there. It is hard to come across friends who are comfortable enough with themselves that they share their self. I mean their deep deep selves. I want to respond to your blog but I am fighting two things. One is... I haven't digested it all and need to chew on it a bit more. Secondly... I have been fight slight morning sickness in the mornings. If I move to fast or sit a certain way I feel as if I am going to throw up. So I need to just relax and then I will get to the blog after I feel better. Thank you again for being who you are. 

Alan (and Terra) yeah! I am very glad that you are able to go out and see your baby girl! LOL sounds weird when I say it. Anyhow I will be praying that your time with the LORD is filled with the Holy Spirit and His voice. I pray that your hearts, minds and ears are receptive and that you understand what it is He has for you at this time individually and as a couple. Love you guys and cant wait to hear how your trip goes. 

Shann

I love this

This is exactly what I wanted this Blog to be about.  I am so overwhelmed with Joy about how honest and vulnerable we can be with each other.  I know that it is not always easy but God will bless this if we keep it up.

So I didn't get to tell Brad and Shan yet but I (actually terra) just got a ticket to  got out to Virginia tomorrow morning at 7:30.  I am excited to see my baby girl (that's you terra).  But I will miss you guys and look forward to telling you about it.  Pray that I have safe travels and that Terra and I have a blessed time growing in the Lord.  We are sneaking away to a retreat place to have some intentional time with the Lord.

I love you all sooo much.  I thank God for each one of you in my life.

This post is mainly for Shannon

I've realized that i have to consciously stop myself from trying to be clever or witty in these posts. I think it's something about writing and the forced happening that you must take more time to think before getting something out that leaves an expectation within myself to come up with something good. So there's my confession. I will require myself to keep a constant tapping of these keys so that i do not take too much time in trying to impress you with my creative writing skills (or lack there of). I genuinely do want to be real and raw with all of you. I was telling Alan today that it's a bit odd for me to just fully dive in without really feeling like i know you all. But I've decided to take a stand against the fear of man that is within me try dive whole heatedly into this.

With that being said... Shannon: When i read your post yesterday I felt a combination of two things #1 a burdened heart for you #2 joy. So i feel like i should explain my second emotion first. I felt so much joy that you would be so vulnerable and real right off the bat. I love that and respect that so much. It immediately opened the door for me to feel safe doing the same thing. That leads me into my second emotion- that I almost didn't share because I wasn't sure if it would sound like too much too soon. But hey- since when does the Kingdom of God have anything to do with timidity? So i'll start by telling you that I hardly ever cry. It's kind of a curse in a way- i really hate it. I mean really, even ask Alan- he might question my affections for him because of this little trait about me (jk babe, i'm sure you know i'm all about you). So that is just to emphasize my point that the Lord really allowed my heart to feel burdened for you in a beautiful way. It was one of those times where the Holy Spirit just filled my heart and mouth with words to pray. It's incredible how He allows us to do that for each other. And then I put on one of my favorite songs and just cried out that he would sing to your Spirit these words and draw near to you. I didn't feel an authority to pray that the pain and confusion be taken away because I just felt that there was far too much that He wanted to share with you in the midst of every unsettling emotion that is inside of you. And while everything in me just wanted to pray for peace and comfort to come over you I couldn't do it- I could only pray that He would be right in the midst of everything that your feeling and that His presence would be SO STRONG over you that you are just driven into His arms with emotion filled tears. Sometimes i think that we are too quick to try and pray away the pain that we are feeling and we miss out on the intimacy that that desperation brings. And so I pray that you will be so overwhelmed by His presence that you are driven into a deeper place of intimacy with Him. I believe and know that this will happen for you.

This is the song that I put on while praying for you- It starts out as a woman speaking to God and asking what she can do to show her love for him and then it transitions into what she hears God respond with to her. And the part of the song that really stood out to me for you is Him just saying to her that she doesn't need to do a thing other than just stopping to be in His presence.

http://www.imeem.com/apolprieto/music/-cvjSU5c/brian_and_jenn_johnson_a_little_longer/
(if it doesn't let you get to it that way then use the youtube link)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyLJlkYv8hw
(i would suggest listening to the song without watching the video)

I will continue to petition for you. Love you girl. (and you guys too)

not there

I really enjoy reading your inner thoughts. I on the other hand have none. Life is swarmed with uncertainty and cloudiness that I have forgotten which way is up. I can't seem to be all in at one place. I feel like I was hit with a bat and shattered like an egg shell. I am trying to pick up my broken pieces and still live life. I am all for being broken because that is when God does his best work, but this time is different. I am unsure why. I am unsure about how to even relate to God. I am focused on my physically state that I am not taking care of my mental and spiritually. Balance is what I need and I am not sure if that will come. I am for sure an internally processor, so this blog is great for me. I am not sure that if I was asked to communicate about my state that I would be able to articulate it well enough. Anyhow, just some thoughts to chew on. Thanks for being fab friends. Love you all

... my attempts to be clever landed me with the name "babootie"

Man I have so much to say about this. Both of the topics you brought up... (probably because they are questions about Christianity as a whole so it pretty much covers any question i've ever had). Anyway staying on topic (sort of). These are questions that i wrestled with HUGE about a year ago and feel like the Lord gave me huge insight into how the Holy Spirit is such a vital part of this whole equation. But we end up over looking His role inside of us and feeling lost because of. So I guess this is just me saying that I’m really praying that the Holy Spirit (our Counselor) will come and rock out through this blog. I mean if the Holy Spirit is what set the church of ACTS of fire (kind of figuratively and literally at the same time) then He can totally do that again today in our little 4 person church and I’m expectant of that. Alright I need to get back to selling black babies ;) haha jk- that sounds so bad! But I’ve got a lot more to say so watch out… soon I’m going to leave a mini novel as my post! Love you all!

2nd Post

So I made a comment to your first post but it is sort of hidden.  I figured I would just write a new post so people didn't think you were a loser talking to yourself.  At any rate I just said thank you for gettin this all together and that I owe you (a backrub from Terra).  I look forward to us being able to talk stuff out and grow together.  

I think there is one other topic I would like us to talk about that will help us figure out the first one.  It is hard for me to put it in a concise sentence or question so I will just throw it up.  

How are we suppose to live as followers of Jesus Christ?  What is the Body of Christ suppose to look like?  Is the church following this correctly? I have been struggling with this because of a few reasons.  On one level I am sick of how my faith is going, I feel unfulfilled at times, and I feel like there is more.  Also being in school at Fuller has made me wrestle through my faith and has taught me so much, which I never knew before.  And being in school really makes me challenge and question the church, specifically the one I attend, and I just don't see the two lining up (right now being what I am learning in my Gospels class and the early church compared to my church today).  Finally, now that I am interning at the church and taking a leadership role, I am expected to know how to lead.  For instance my small group, which are guys that are young in faith, have no faith, or somewhere else but looking to me for answers.  And I am trying to figure out exactly how to lead.

I guess now that we are gettin older and some of us are having babies its time to figure this stuff out.

I love you guys and gals.

Ist Post

Aahh yes, the first post. How weird to not have a myspace, facebook, or any other pedafile's tool of choice but i have a blog. Yes, i must be in touc with my inner feelings and label myself as a product of the 21st century. I do have secret inklings of one day being a cowboy of sorts, but i believe that having a blog forever excludes me from having the right to wear assless chaps; Well Al we'll have to settle for speedos and short shorts. Sorry for the rambling, i guess i feel it necessary to purge myself of all inward weirdness as I will soon be a dad and all know that is what the world needs - HaHa whether u like it or not baby! OK well in the midst of all this i guess i will start and continue the thread Al of our few conversations that will hopefully be a catalyst to bringing us 4 together to live in regular community and service to the Lord. What to do with our immediate futures, futures down the road, desires, hopes and dreams? I will leave it at that and conclude that for tonight I will fight myself to entrust that to the Lord and hopefully wake up tomorrow knowing all i am to do with my life so i may help you gys figure yours out......unless that is i am the only one needing some insight and probing - thats what she said!